A few good men

By LACHLAN MOORHEAD

MEN looking to change their behaviour towards their family and friends are being encouraged to take part in an ABC documentary which will focus on the positive influence of a Casey-based men’s group.
The Heavy METAL (Men’s Education Towards Anger and Life) group, based in Narre Warren, will be a primary focus of next year’s documentary as independent filmmaker, Sophie Wiesner, films and collates the progress of the participants as they embark on a life-changing journey.
“There was violence in my mum’s family when she was growing up and I’ve grown up around the stories of that,” Ms Wiesner said.
“I was working in documentary television and went to Australian Film Television Radio School and gathered skills over the years and decided I wanted to work on a project that meant something to me and that I thought would potentially help others.”
“We talked with a number of organisations in Victoria but Dave’s was one that I was drawn to for a couple of reasons. One is Dave’s story, he isn’t just professionally trained in this area, he’s lived some of the challenges that these families go through.
“That was really powerful to me and I thought it could be very powerful for everybody else.”
Dave Nugent, who started up Heavy METAL in 2004, is a trained counsellor and psychotherapist who specialises in men’s behavioural change programs.
It was 20 years ago when Dave realised he had to change.
“I used to think I was a top bloke. I didn’t realise I was as bad as what I was,” Dave, 53, said.
“Then one particular day, I was in my early thirties. My partner and I were invited to a family function and we had a disagreement before the function and I spat the dummy and didn’t want to go.
“But then I didn’t expect her to go; she was assertive enough to say ‘well that’s your problem, I’m going’ and I got upset about it and I dropped my guard and lost my cool, I publicly lost my cool.
“I went to the party and made a fool of myself, I got a bit of steel pipe out of my work truck and started smashing up the car in front of a lot of people and children and I realised when I saw the looks on those kids’ faces that I’d really scared these guys.”
Ms Wiesner’s documentary, to be aired in the second half of 2015, is currently in pre-production.
She and Dave are now calling on men who desire to change their behaviour to take part in the Heavy METAL program and allow their journey to be filmed.
“Family violence in our community is really high, and one of the biggest problems that we’ve got is that emotional violence is something that is really difficult to prove but is really more common than the physical side. It’s hard to call up the police and say ‘he’s being emotionally abusive’,” Dave said.
“There’s a lot that are also very passive, but also extremely nasty and that has massive impacts on children and women, on their self-worth, their self-respect.
“This television program will in a way, I believe, bring that to the table and see how we deal with that, see how we create this discussion around it.”
Dave runs several weekly programs through Heavy METAL, while a women’s program is also available.
“Dave does draw a huge range of guys into the room with him, his work is with guys from different ages, different cultures, different faith groups,” Ms Wiesner said.
“There’s an incredible diversity in the room with Dave and that has the advantage of inviting the audience to identify with a range of people.
“And it reflects the reality which is that family violence is not just a problem of those who are part of a criminal underclass or chronically unemployed, it’s not just a problem of people who are disadvantaged.
“This is an urgent problem for families and households across Australia, and something must be done.”
To get involved with Heavy METAL and the documentary, contact Dave on 0401 766 877.
Those who need immediate assistance or need to talk to someone they can trust can contact the Domestic Violence Helpline on 1800 800 098, the Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491, or Lifeline on 131 119.