By Cam Lucadou-wells
TREAT your children as your friends.
That is the hard-earned advice from Selba Gondoza Luka, the ‘second mother’ who is transforming misguided African youth in Casey and Greater Dandenong.
She is one of the silent ‘crime-fighters’ working behind the scenes against a much-publicised rise in serious youth offences, such as carjackings, car thefts and aggravated burglaries.
Ms Luka, who fronts the volunteer Afri-Aus Care group, often get referrals from the courts, Youth Justice, Community Corrections and Parkville Youth Detention Centre to help.
“When working with young people, I don’t judge them at all,” Ms Luka says. “I just tell them to think of their families, the community and their future.”
In many cases, young people go astray due to friction with parents at home.
“What works better is a more two-way conversation,” Ms Luka says.
She learnt this lesson herself, having faced similar issues with her daughter.
As Ms Luka reacted sternly, her relationship with her daughter became more rocky. She found she was “driving away” her daughter from the house and into more trouble.
Advice from a friend turned around the situation. She was told to talk to her daughter as a friend, not as her parent.
Ms Luka and her daughter started communicating again. Ms Luka made her daughter her first priority – she’d drop everything to listen, not judge and be there for her.
Her daughter is now embarking on a successful fashion design career.
“I was talked about in my community and it was a lot of pain,” Ms Luka recalls.
“Each time I see a young person in trouble, I just put them in my daughter’s shoes and say you can do better.”
To parents, Ms Luka can say she knows what they’re going through.
To the offenders, she tells them she will never give up on them.
“Even if you have done the wrong thing, there are better things you can do. Come up with something constructive.”
Her methods have borne fruit for a number of former offenders, some of whom have transformed into mentors.
One of them is Chaileng Jok – a rapper who had scrapes with the law back in 2014.
At Ms Luka’s encouragement, the musician went willingly into rehab and has given up drugs and alcohol.
He is now studying business and leadership course at a TAFE in Dandenong. He wants to lead youngsters back on track by helping set up a Afri-Aus Care music studio for youngsters and urging them to get back to school.
Another protege Markos Mensur never strayed into criminality but struggled to land an income to support himself, his wife and two children.
With Ms Luka’s help, he’s set up a Mow and More home-gardening enterprise. In gratitude, he has also offered a helping hand to straying youth.
Afri-Aus Care plans to launch music and organic gardening activities to engage young people. It also offers intensive case management, referrals to legal aid, mental health and drug-and-alcohol services and employment support.
It is operating without government funding and requires sponsorship.
Ms Luka says her concern is the difficulty her proteges face in getting work. There are some she knows who have studied and yet can’t rise above factory work.
“You focus on what that kid wants to do. Once they’re confident, they find that next step in their education through alternative education pathways.
“Give them adequate supports to do something and make Australia a better place.”
