By LACHLAN MOORHEAD
OAKLEY Hansen visits Maddison Murphy-West’s grave every week to speak to her.
In another lifetime Oakley, of Narre Warren, and Maddison were close friends, two young mothers each trying to raise an infant child.
Oakley, 21, had her two-year-old daughter, Eden, six months after Maddy gave birth to her son, Noah, and both new mums were inseparable.
Maddy’s legacy is now inscribed on a tombstone.
The 20-year-old was found dead at her Ahern Road home in Pakenham just over a year ago, on 23 October, 2013.
Two-year-old Noah was left without his mother, as homicide squad detectives continue to investigate the death.
“I do like to go down to Maddy’s grave, I try to get down there at least once a week and just stay there,” Oakley said.
“Usually Eden falls asleep in the car on the way, so I leave the windows down and park next to the grave. I go and just talk to her … hopefully she can hear me.
“I speak to her and then I might just sit there and put some flowers down, but I do speak to her.
“I say that I miss her and I hope she’s up there … trying to make sense of this mess for us.
“I hope she is happy.”
More than 12 months since the tragedy, Oakley recalls hearing of Maddy’s death and refusing to accept the news.
“My heart just sunk, I heard it and I just didn’t believe it,” the former Casey Grammar student said.
“I still struggle to believe it now but then I was just like “No, there’s no way, there’s no way that she’s gone.”
“Then I saw all these posts on Facebook and … it just … rips your heart out.”
In March, an anti-violence rally was organised in Maddy’s honour, after media reports emerged that she was allegedly physically assaulted in the year before her mystery death.
And as the News this week continues its month-long White Ribbon campaign to help stop violence against women, Oakley spoke of the companionship she once shared with Maddy.
Not just one mum speaking to another, but two close friends brought together at a time when they needed each other.
“No matter the time, day or night, Maddison was there,” Oakley said.
“Sometimes I’d get messages at the most random times, saying things like ‘Are you okay? How is Eden? I miss and love you both.’ And back then I didn’t know how much they’d mean to me now.
“When I had Eden, Maddy was the first person that I’d messaged. I was still out of it because I’d had an emergency C-section.
“I can’t even remember messaging her but I’ve read over it and she was just so over the moon that Eden was here and she couldn’t wait to meet her, she couldn’t wait for Noah to meet her.”
Oakley stressed how the White Ribbon message needed to be reinforced as much as possible, all year around.
“The fact that it’s a male-led campaign just shows that violent men are the minority,” she said.
“We need to keep this going until it’s completely stamped out, it’s confronting but necessary.
“No-one should feel that being a victim of domestic violence is okay.”
Eden gives Oakley the strength to keep going, in a world without Maddy. A world which otherwise would seem unconquerable, even unbearable.
“I have the most wonderful little girl, so she keeps me on my feet and keeps me happy,” Oakley said.
“I’m so blessed to have her, but every day I just find myself … I have a certain point in the day where I think of Maddy and miss her and then I’ve just got to keep going, I’ve got to keep keeping on.
“I’ve got a two-year-old to raise. I can’t let it control every day, I’ve got to be strong for Eden.
“If it was just me by myself, I could just fall into a heap, but I can’t do that.
“I don’t want to fall into a heap, I want to live my life and have Maddy in my heart and on my mind.”
In the darkness after Maddy’s death, Oakley sees a glimmer of hope.
She sees a future for both Eden and Noah, one she’d love the two to share.
“I have so much respect for Maddy’s family and the way that they’re coping with everything,” Oakley said.
“They know that I’m always here if they ever need help and I’m always there for Noah, and I would love to have Eden and Noah grow together.
“Just like Maddy wanted.”
