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Snapchat, tantrums and tears

Recently, a post in a local Berwick community forum broke our hearts.

A concerned father of a Year 9 girl asked for help: his daughter, caught in the crossfire of peer pressure and digital culture, was demanding access to Snapchat.

When told no, the tears came.

The tantrums followed.

And like thousands of other parents across Australia, he was left feeling powerless.

This is not an isolated case.

The issue is not just the app.

It is the cultural shift we are witnessing: where “no“ from a parent is no longer a full sentence.

Boundaries are negotiated, not respected.

Where digital validation matters more than real-life conversation.

The Australian Government has introduced tighter regulations to address online safety and social media usage.

New policies propose a minimum age of 16 for social media accounts, and a “Digital Duty of Care“ to hold platforms accountable.

On paper, these initiatives are well-meaning.

But here is the problem: we are focusing on legislation without equipping the front-line defenders – parents and educators – with the tools, language, and cultural confidence to hold the line at home.

So, what is the real root cause?

This is not just a tech issue.

It is a Cultural Intelligence (CQ) crisis.

We have a generation of parents who are unsure on how to parent across cultures: the culture of entitlement, digital addiction, peer pressure, and performative popularity.

We are scared to be the “strict ones“.

We are afraid of damaging self-esteem.

But, as many educators will tell you, that fear is breeding a new kind of fragility – where discomfort is mistaken for danger, and guidance is mistaken for control.

Our parents once said no, and it meant no.

But in today’s landscape, where social media is both a lifeline and a liability, we need new tools:

1. Values-Based Parenting

Teach your children why you say no.

Explain values like privacy, digital permanence, emotional safety, and empathy.

If they understand the “why“, they will respect the “no”.

Take them down the rabbit hole, make them confront real stories of where it has led for others.

2. Back-to-Front Policies

Governments are legislating from the top-down, but parents need support from the ground-up.

We need schools and local councils to host digital parenting workshops, provide community-based tech mentors, and invest in CQ education.

3. Cultural Reset in Homes

It is time to reintroduce etiquette. Respect. Gratitude. And responsibility.

We cannot let likes and filters replace morals and manners.

4. Family Tech Agreements

Make media-use a family conversation.

Set boundaries together, and stick to them.

No Snapchat till 16? Fine. But explain it, model it, and stay consistent.

You are the biggest role model to your child.

5. Empower the Village

No more parenting in isolation.

Create school-based CQ forums, teacher-parent panels, and local community groups where people can share strategies, not just complaints.

The truth is, parents are being outmanoeuvred by technology and outnumbered by influence.

It is no wonder we feel like we are failing.

But we are not.

We just need to stop fighting alone.

Snapchat is not the enemy. Nor is the child.

But if we do not bridge this gap soon, we will raise a generation of young people more connected to strangers than to their own families.

If we want to restore sanity, safety, and self-worth in our homes, we must start with Cultural Intelligence: the ability to parent not just across generations, but across evolving cultural norms.

Let’s raise digitally aware, emotionally intelligent, and morally grounded children.

– What do you think? Let us know at dailyeditor@starnewsgroup.com.au

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