Like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is an important day set aside to shine a spotlight on dads and honour them for their contribution within their families and the society.
Father’s Day has a long history, and it is observed in over 100 countries worldwide, on different dates and variations. In some countries, it’s actually a Public Holiday or National Day, particularly in Europe, Asia and Samoa. But we are not there yet here in Australia.
The week leading up to Father’s Day, I felt quite spoilt, humbled and spurred on as a dad both from my family and from the community. It started earlier in the week with a Father’s Day event at my son’s kinder. The teachers and children put a lot of thought and effort into planning the event, which was very humbling for some of us fathers who were able to get time off work. Upon arrival, we were ushered to “a special treatment room“ where we got our hands washed and dried, then we spent quality time doing things with our children and finished up with making a paper tie which my son ordered me to wear for the rest of the day, and I did. We felt very pampered indeed.
On Saturday morning, I attended a special Father’s Day Men’s breakfast organised by my church with an incredible guest speaker. It was a great atmosphere spending time with a couple of hundred or so men and hearing a great message on our role in society as men in the modern world and the importance of looking after the three most important pillars: spirit, soul and body.
At a personal level, Father’s Day provides an opportunity for us dads to stop and reflect on what it means to be a dad to someone, regardless of how old the child/ren may be. For me, being a dad is a privilege, and it’s a title I cherish above all else. A couple of weeks before Father’s Day, my wife and I received a bundle of joy with the birth of our daughter, Hannah. I recalled receiving baby Hannah from the nurse soon after birth, and for about half an hour, I sat there, just marvelling at this beautiful-precious being in my hands. It was a moment when nothing else in the world mattered.
While being a dad is joyful and a life-changing experience, it comes with a huge responsibility, when it comes to all things involved in parenting, including protecting and providing for the family. For some of us, this may look different depending on the capacity, dynamics and living/relationship situations.
Where possible, being there when our children need us and spending quality time with them are some of the most important roles of a dad. This includes attending kinder/school events or sporting matches. I must admit I don’t make it to all of my children’s special events, but whenever I have attended, it meant so much to them, and that’s what makes me want to attend all of their events.
Stronger relationships and long-lasting memories are created from spending quality time with our children and being there for them at the most important moments, if not always.
I was struck by the gift I received from my four-year-old son, which he made at kinder. It’s essentially a soccer field on a piece of wood, and it has me and him made of stones with a simple tag which reads: “playing soccer with dad”. Again, a lot of thought and effort went into making such a gift, so many thanks to the kind teachers. It’s a gift that means so much to me as it brings back lots of memories playing soccer with him and endlessly debating who is the GOAT between Messi (my favourite player) and Cristiano Ronaldo (his favourite player).
We live in an ever-evolving world, which requires some adjustments in how some of us dads view the role of a dad, probably informed by our upbringing. My dad did his very best during his time, and I’m forever grateful for his influence on me. However, how my dad brought me up in Africa is very different in many aspects from how I am raising my children now in Australia, in the West. So I encourage fellow dads who may have been in a similar position to embrace the challenge of adjusting to the changing family dynamics and duties in the West or in the modern world.
Not everyone had a positive childhood experience with their dads, and it is very important to acknowledge the long-lasting impact of such experiences. But now we all have the opportunity and privilege to have a turn in raising the next generation.
While parenting roles and family dynamics have changed over time, there is still a long way to go in Australia when it comes to support systems and incentives for fathers. There is more work to do in a policy sense and the employment sector, particularly around parental leave and flexible work arrangements, so fathers can be around when needed by the family, especially attending children’s special events and assisting with parenting duties.
In terms of support, men and fathers need support more than ever, with mental health and wellbeing on top of the list at the moment. This is where it is crucial for men to stay connected to their support network and to seek external support when needed. Some of the support networks/sources may be a local men’s shed, fathers’ group, extended family, support service or other like settings within local communities.
I wish every father all the very best in their day-to-day fathering roles.
Happy Father’s Day 2025
